5 ways to reduce holiday in your marriage

 

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Doctors Charles & Elizabeth Schmitz, married couple and marriage counselors, found so interesting secrets to stay stress free during this festive season. Hope you find them useful. Cheers

Don’t let stress destroy your relationship during the holidays. Act now!
Experiencing stressful situations during the holidays can happen in even the best relationships. We have all seen it—the grandest of holiday plans come crumbling down when the inevitable holiday calamities begin to happen.
Here are five ways you and your spouse can lower your stress level and have a more relaxed holiday season:
1. Take extra special care of yourself and your spouse. Get enough sleep, take your vitamins, eat healthy and exercise to increase your ability to handle the stressful situations that always occur during the holidays. Eliminate your useless worry about things that will never happen. The holiday does not have to be perfect! The relationships built are more important than holiday perfection.
2. Money is not the solution to a great holiday season—especially in these tough economic times. Rather, it is the simple things that matter—simple acts of kindness, homemade gifts and cards, simple expressions of love. Take a moment in the midst of the chaos and pressure of the holidays to focus on the important things in life. Give your spouse respect, understanding, your embrace, your kiss and your time.
3. Appreciate the traditions within your family and your spouse’s family. Blend them together in a way that both you and your spouse will cherish as you make new memories together. Don’t feel compelled to follow the exact same traditions of one family over the other without a full discussion of what you both want as you build your “traditions” together. Talk about what you are going to do for the season - what are you and your spouse’s highest priorities? Have this conversation as soon as possible so you can eliminate all the stuff that doesn’t matter.
4. When holiday problems arise—as they always do—talk about them openly rather than blaming or wallowing in self pity. Discussions about serious matters must always begin with agreement about what the issues really are. Work to identify the issue, establish the parameters of the discussion, and agree to solve the problem together. Blaming and wallowing in self-pity are wasted emotions.
5. As the stress rises, so does the opportunity for argument and disagreement. When the holiday tension is so thick that you could cut it with a knife, it is easy to let nasty statements and sharp words roll off your tongue, making judgmental statements about your spouse, their actions, and their relatives. Think twice before exploding with vitriolic words that cannot be taken back.
Our final thought for the holidays is this—no love has blossomed or been sustained without doing the simple things. Focusing on the simple things during the holidays will go a long way towards making it a stress free holiday season for you and your family.

SOURCE: NIGERIAN TRIBUNE

RELATIONSHIP

We are all products of relationship; without a relationship there wouldn't have been any human being on the surface of the earth. A man marries a woman to form a relationship, consequently  children are born. In this relationship the children are nurtured. Your relationship has a lot to do in your life. Your successes or failures has a lot to do with the relationship you keep.

There is a common saying, "show me your friend and I will tell the type of person you are". In a nutshell, to be successful in life; you need to be a friend of successful people. The Scripture says, "can two walk together except they be agreed"- Amos 3:3. Whatever you want to be in this world, develop a relationship in that regard.

There are dos and don'ts of relationship
Don`t try too hard to convince the other person of your love. Love and trust yourself more. This will relax your love defences and enable you to give yourself totally to relationship. 

•  Don`t question the other person`s love all the time. 
• Feel the oneness of the universe, step beyond the `me first` conflicts that mar relationships.
• Don't pretend to be what you are not.
• Understand that there are individual differences.
• Accept your partner for who he is.
• Respect your partners' opinion.

• Don`t use your relationships to fulfil your expectations. 

• Know yourself. Analyse the cause of your reactions. 
• Acknowledge the other person as an individual. Grow and let grow. 
• In a conflicting relationship, check where you went wrong rather than where the other person failed. 
• Listen to each other. 
• Communication strengthens the foundation of a relationship. 
• Take the first step in working out a relationship without worrying about who is in the right. 
• Don`t depend on any person and don`t let the other person depend on you.